Condition Update

It's Wednesday today. Regretfully I have not looked into the Second Pillar. Last night I stayed up playing a game, probably too long but my girlfriend was really enjoying the game as well and I couldn't say no even though I knew I'd have to wake up really late to make up for it.

So I received a call around noon from her seeing if I was awake yet so I got up and went to work. I guess I felt OK and I was hoping to see her later since she had a day off and I didn't have school that night either.

I don't know if it's because my day's are "thrown off" but I felt depressed upon arrival to her place. It's just these nights when it's still warm, I should love these nights but they give me a weird feeling like a bad memory being pulled from my subconscious or something. It's like the only way to get rid of my problems is to forget about past occurrences of being depressed whether because I was worried about something or whatever other reason it may have been that I was depressed at the time.

I don't know, I just don't have drive in life like some people do. Don't get me wrong I am going to a university (and almost done) and I have an internship but I feel like the future is kinda pointless. I know it's my problem though and, God willing, a way to get rid of this feeling will come but in the meantime all I can do is try to forget or fight it. I'm starting to wonder if I have some condition and when I'm tired it translates into being depressed. Anyway I hope to read the Second Pillar when I get some time and write about it here.

Over - and - out.