So far so good :)

This is just another update for 3-24-10. So far I have been doing pretty well. I feel like my life is starting to change around. I've been avoiding suspicious thoughts and always trying to distract myself. Getting back into playing a game seems to help GOD willing as long as I don't become obsessed which ends up having the reverse affect. Good job me! :)

Quick Update

So far I have been doing pretty well. Once in a while I get anxious over something (especially since some problems at school made a bunch of us nervous and anxious about what was going to happen). I get disappointed when I let myself "overthink" something and then I start getting a little anxious telling myself "what is something happened to her?" (in my girlfriend's case) but I always remind myself that it is silly and instead of even thinking about how silly it is I try to move on.

GOD willing I'll do better with time!

Pillar Nine- The Final Pillar

Before doing the last visualization and reading Pillar 9 I went over a quick recap of the Pillars:

• PILLARS:
• Pillar 1- STOP VISITING EVERY PRACTITIONER YOU CAN FIND
  
• Pillar 2- TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT STOPPING YOUR MEDICATION
  
• Pillar 3- STOP RESEARCHING YOUR CONDITION


• Pillar 4- ONLY FOLLOW THIS METHOD


• Pillar 5- STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR CONDITION


• Pillar 6- STOP LEANING ON OTHER PEOPLE


• Pillar 7- DON'T HOLD ONTO MEMORIES OF YOUR CONDITION


• Pillar 8- DIVERT YOUR MIND- MAKE IT YOUR NEW HABIT- ALWAYS!

Now this is where I stop and truly digest this information, it is very important to eliminating anxiety. Pillars 1-2 do not really apply to me since I have not visited a doctor about this or taken any medication but the rest are still very important. Now that I feel I have fully absorbed those Pillars, here is Pillar 9:

• PILLAR 9
• STOP ACCOMMODATING YOUR ANXIETY

Don't let your daily routines REVOLVE AROUND YOUR ANXIETY. This is just giving your anxiety a reason to sit back and know that it has it easy. Make it a challenge for your anxiety so you can ultimately defeat it. Eventually your subconscious will be re-trained and you will learn to become anxious in situations that actually call for it - YOUR SITUATION DOES NOT CALL FOR IT! STOP TELLING YOURSELF IT DOES!

I hope from here on to read the rest of the book and listen to the other goodies that came with it about Phobias/Anxiety Eliminators/Etc.

PS: As I was writing this I was 'subconsciously' worried about my girlfriend responding to my texts and getting home from work safe GOD willing. Right as I am finishing up, I get a text: SHE IS HOME AND FINE! This is why distraction is truly important, don't take it from me (even though I am just another "patient" here), CHANGE YOUR LIFE NOW! (I am not saying buy the Linden Method, I just want YOU to get BETTER because I know how great it is starting to feel!)

I hope to keep this updated in the future about future readings and progress, cheers!

Pillar Eight

Today I read Pillar Eight. Thank goodness, only one more visualization to listen to and then I read the last pillar and the rest of the book.

Pillar Eight

• DISTRACT YOURSELF ALWAYS
• Get into HEALTHY habits, such as arts and crafts, going out with friends, exercise, etc
• FILL EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY

One specific tip mentioned was to go to sleep at night in your quiet moments if you can't distract yourself (but even then you should put on loud music and sing along or whatever). Now for me the whole problem was I felt I couldn't sleep until my girlfriend was home safe and sound (which doesn't happen till 12-1am) but even while staying up I am bearing with it a lot better.

I must say though, I FEEL THIS HAS BEEN WORKING. I am not a "Linden Method" promoter I am just someone who, honestly decided to try this out myself, without consulting anyone, and it just makes sense. It's something for those who don't know how to give themselves the right tips to help them move in the right direction. DISTRACTION has been one of the most useful things to me against worry. I know that I have a problem, RECOGNIZING that is very important, but because I know, I also am able to fight it. When I start worrying I think of pizza most the time and it helps, oddly enough.

Find your own distraction. Tell yourself there is nothing to worry about. Remember how many people live in peace though they are in much more volatile situations. Put your trust in GOD, imagine yourself placing whatever you worry about into God's hands, or some beam of light, whatever works for you!

Pillar Seven

Pillar Seven:

• DON'T HOLD ON TO MEMORIES OF YOUR CONDITION
• This includes not going into detail about how you "defeated your condition"
• You must allow the subconscious to let go of these memories, if you hold on/imagine/dwell on them you will never LET THEM GO!

So far The Linden Method makes sense. It's almost like teaching you to let go of your ex-girlfriend. As soon as you forget about her and focus on what is ahead of you, you move on. You will keep telling yourself anyway, "but she was the only one for me, I'll never find someone else, etc etc" but these thoughts are BAD. Even if you feel you can JUSTIFY these thoughts, in the great scheme of things, they hold you back! Whether or not you are meant to be together again, dwelling on the subject is NEVER A PLUS.

______________________________________________________
In other news, life has felt a little better. Particularly today I am cheering up more, thank GOD. I try to go out to eat with classmates more (all of us geeks) and I know I need to get out of the house more or else I start to be repelled against going out into the outside world.

Also, more importantly, I am worrying less about my girlfriend. I need to remember GOD and put her in GOD's hands. There have been a few occasions already where I did not worry 50% as much as I did when she was going home from work or school like before, and I feel that is an achievement!

Pillar 6

Today I went through Pillar 6. Of course I did the visualization which has become a little troublesome for me, I just want to skip it sometimes. Maybe it would be better if I had a more comfortable place to do it I suppose.

So Pillar 6 says:

• STOP LEANING ON OTHERS
• Remember that trying to get comfort through someone else is temporary
• This has never solved the problem, you need to look within yourself and FIND YOUR SOLUTION

I'm getting kinda anxious (oops bad term) to start reading the book itself rather than just the Pillars but I'm almost there. I've felt "OK" too long I suppose so I haven't been keeping up with the Pillars even though they should have all been done by now.

As for how I am doing, today I feel went by fine. Nothing too spectacular (with work and school life can't be too special anyway). Overall, though, OK is better than negative feelings. Once or twice worry tried to creep up on me and I did my best to employ the idea to LET IT COME IN. In fact, what I do is challenge it! I say come on! You need to come in, this needs to be at it's worst so I can get over it. Miraculously the feeling goes away, and using this method it never got to the point where it really bothered me.

I will keep trying this to see if it helps me avoid depression/anxiety, GOD willing. I am amazed myself at how it's going to be honest. I feel like a human being can master their subconscious mind! :)

Pillar Five

I have to admit at this point I kind of wish I could skip the visualization and go straight to reading the pillars, but I want to do this right so I'm gonna keep up with it. Besides I only have 4 more pillars to read.

Pillar Five says:

    
• AVOID TALKING ABOUT YOUR CONDITION<li>
      
• The more you talk about your condition, the more you feed your subconscious mind, YOU are telling it SOMETHING IS WRONG!  

A great example that was used is of a time you may have had a failed relationship. You keep talking about that person, thinking about that person, FEEDING the problem. You notice once you learn to stop thinking about it, the pain goes away. He says once you find someone to replace your EX, as an example, all of a sudden it's easier to forget about them. You've changed focus. There are many similar situations but the key is to use whatever works best for you to AVOID the condition, until your mind has trained enough to let it go and replace it with a better thought.

In other news,  I feel like I have been doing better. Part of it may have been the Linden Method, GOD willing. But also, it has prompted me to keep myself busy. I've joined some discussion forums which help me keep my mind busy. I might play a game or watch cartoons to stay busy as well. The past couple days I asked my girlfriend to text me once she arrived at work (keep in mind her apartment is half a mile from work), and she forgot to text me until later that night but, thank GOD, I did not panic. I told myself that I would wait. I said I would give it a couple hours and wait for the text, and as much as my mind WANTED to doubt it would come, I stayed away from that thought, and sure enough, it came much earlier than expected. I need to learn to trust GOD, trust life, trust the way things go. Gradually I feel that I will move on GOD willing :)

Pillar Four

Tonight I read the 4th Pillar.

The Fourth Pillar basically says:

• Don't Use Any Other Method Besides the Linden Method
And before you think it's a way of getting customers hooked (like I thought), Linden goes on to say:
• This is not to "decry" (discredit) other methods but instead to help you focus on one method
• The Linden Method is meant to suppress the habitual anxiety and replace it with a healthy habit whereas a therapist may purposely have you bring OUT that anxiety to defeat it
• In Summary, too many methods is a no-no, it just causes confusion!
:) Let's keep working at it guys, we can get over this thing holding us down! Write about it, I definitely encourage it, it helps! It doesn't have to be on a computer ( I like computers so I type). Some people may prefer writing in a journal (I hate my handwriting so I don't hehe). Cheers!

Pillar Three

Tonight feeling a little down and anxious I decided to go on and read Pillar Three after Two since Two was about not taking medicine and I don't take any medicine.

As usual, I started with the "Nine Pillars Visualization" which is Mr. Linden talking to you as you try to relax as much as possible and you image your subconscious as a "cloud in a blue sky" and you give it reassuring words to make it bigger (then I imagine it coming back into my mind).

I went on to read the third pillar which says:

  
• DO NOT RESEARCH YOUR ANXIETY CONDITION
      
• Don't go to the library to read about it
  
• Don't talk to anyone about it
  
• After reading The Linden Method Manual put it away
  
• There is a section named "Physiology of Anxiety" which Linden says NOT to read and in fact it is a test for you to see if you can overcome wanting to read it

This seems to be good advice, and let me say why... In the past I use to do things that would make me worry until a time came where I was "cleared" of that worry because at a certain point I'd find out, as a fact, that I was worrying about nothing. I did this repeatedly over the course of a year or two not learning from my mistake.

Whenever I started to worry, I'd "google it". I did so much googling, and some answers I found made me feel better, but I wouldn't stop there, I'd keep googling and find answers that didn't make me feel so good. Thank GOD after all this time I am not too worried about that "thing" anymore but it was really a horrible thing to go through month after month.

This is why I hope that avoiding "thinking, researching, asking" about anxiety will make it seem, in the end, like a condition that never existed. Something we made in our minds, but it never really existed..

Pillar Two

Today I felt a little down though I think I'm doing "O.K" (some people in my state might not even recognize they are depressed, it's kinda border line).

I finally read Pillar Two. Turns out it was about gradually coming off your Depression/Anxiety medication.

!THIS IS NOT TELLING ANYONE WHO IS TAKING MEDICATION TO IMMEDIATELY COME OFF THEIR MEDICATION, PLEASE CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR FIRST!

Thank GOD, I am not taking medicine so I'll wait until Pillar 3 =)

Also took a walk today which felt pretty nice. And a nap...! Which I haven't taken in quite a while but it seemed to help as well. I really want a dog, I think it would be a good form of "therapy" for me but it's not going well with my mother unfortunately. I even offered to pay a big sum of my sister's debt if she said it was ok =(

Until next time!